Vernacular Abuse

Dear Facebook, Skype, GChat, BBM, Whatsapp and Email,

Boy have we had a big two months!

I never really understood the impact you have on everyday life. You should be commended…well I’m pretty sure the monetary compensation you generate for your founders is commendation enough. So I just want to personally thank you. Over the past two weeks we united forces and really made some monumental impacts.

You see, I have this thing with words and unfortunately when the stork dropped me off at mom and dad’s house 28 years ago he forgot to leave a filter. I’ve been grappling with this oversight for years. Here in Spain they blame it on me just being American, but back in the States the lack of filter still provides countless hours of entertainment and embarrassment beyond acceptable levels. It’s a work in progress, but the sheer volume of words I use is tough to manage. After a detailed analysis a co-worker and I came to the conclusion that I talk on a 9 to 1 ratio compared to the average person. I talk in riddles and rhymes at all the wrong times. And that is where you come in to the picture.

Who would have known that I could exercise the 9 to 1 ratio on 6 platforms simultaneously? Do you know how much we got accomplished this week? I’ll tell you.

Let’s start from the beginning, when I lost my voice. Detrimental, I know. I was lost too, but Skype you really stepped it up here. The phone was clearly not an option as I intermittently made honking noises that sounded like an injured goose. I had a speech to give and I practiced (at a whisper) over Skype with my audience. I also used your instant message feature when whispering gave way to pure silence. I never regained my voice in time to deliver the speech, but time wasn’t waiting for me and the week moved on.

GChat, Whatsapp and BBM, thank you. You carried me through a rather long week of anticipation. Election results and a top secret retreat provided a little anxiety and I still could not speak without sounding like an overweight truck driver. Using your technology I could still keep up my communication level, just in written and far more permanent form, but most importantly I could still express myself across platforms. Amazing. I really seized the opportunity too.

I owe a lot of thanks to each of you for the past few weeks.

Skype: Thank you for allowing me to interact with my mother as she packed me a box of winter clothes. Barcelona is getting colder and the cold marble floor in the morning is getting painful. I have contemplated not showering twice now to avoid the long cold barefoot walk down the hallway to the shower. I’m going to start losing friends if I don’t get my slippers sent sooner than later.

GChat: You hide so discretely behind the pdf version of marketing slides on my PC. I’ve promised to give you up during class time except in the case of emergencies, but I just wanted to tell you that you have been incredibly useful in talking to people on the other side of classroom. I will miss the flashing orange during class time, but I have you on my phone too, so do not fret.

BBM and Whatsapp: You allowed me to connect with people across the globe at all hours. Allocating time between the two of you is tough, but my dedication really picks up as the night drags on. I find more and more time to devote to you right around 2am. You facilitate my ability to put my foot in my mouth quicker than I could have ever considered. Wow, the wonders of technology.

Email: You add value too. For after insertion of foot-in-mouth, you step in and allow me another opportunity to poor salt in a wound, but in a far more permanent fashion. What would I do without you? You allow me to make permanent reminders of temporary feelings….you are kind of like a tattoo. Plus the fact that I can have you in my pocket…priceless.

Facebook: I haven’t fully embraced your chat feature. I was turned off by you when you first showed your face. You had too many glitches and I really just lost interest. I am considering giving you another chance, but you too have served a purpose these past two weeks. After my uninhibited communication, follies included, you were there as the perfect spot to post some esoteric message about my latest blunder. You are irreplaceable.

Wow. Countless reasons for gratitude. It’s been a long two months and all of you have been key players of dragging it out so painfully long. I look forward to more useful interaction as we continue on our journey together. I flirt with the idea of separation, temporary of course, but I never have the ability to part. I feel we just go together like old ladies and slot machines.

Until our next IM, Email or ambiguous post….

Unaccustomed Earth

Human nature will not flourish, any more than a potato, if it be planted and replanted, for too long a series of generations, in the same worn-out soil. My children have had other birthplaces, and, so far as their fortunes may be within my control, shall strike their roots into unaccustomed earth. –Nathaniel Hawthorne

Pause. Breathe. Reflect….carry on.

Pre-term has come and gone. Marks are set and rather inconsequential at this point. Term 1 and everything it has in store for us has pierced our reality and we strap in for another several months of academic pursuits.

But September was more than just another month in our calendar year. We all set out on this journey with different motivations and varying goals. We converged on Barcelona – a foreign land to some but home for others. We blindly opened ourselves to 179 others from day one. We walked into living situations with perfect strangers without question. We humbly accepted new roles and accommodated new norms to promote the success of five other people. We stumbled a time or two and will again, but for the coming months this is our unaccustomed earth.

These are our days to learn from each other and exchange ideas, opinions, cultures, food and drinks. And we are going to have a blast doing so. So perhaps for a day or a weekend and maybe even just for a moment…

Pause. Remember the streets and sidewalks that robbed the soles from our shoes, where we promised ourselves this opportunity. Oh! the carpal tunnel syndrome we still battle, developed from writing our essays, our ideas and our beliefs.

Breathe. Now that it seems the ESADE West-Nile-Bird-Sars epidemic has subsided – we can all breathe.

Reflect. We had ideas in those essays, we had goals – personally I may have thrown in a little blue sky to help with the admissions process, but the message was still the same – grant me this opportunity and watch me flourish.

In my moments of reflection, I have realized:

In this single month I have made ‘lifers’. (How can you possibly NOT remain lifelong friends with someone that shares more than 100 friends in common with you on Facebook?)

I am an amazing air fiddler.

Sundays are not for shopping, perfect for drinking.

The flashing lights at the pedestrian crosswalk are less a warning-more a sign of imminent danger.

You can bond over happy meals from McAuto at 4am.

If this whole clean energy thing doesn’t pan out, I have a future in horse whispering.

Just because the hairdresser cut your neck – no discount is guaranteed.

Taxis don’t frequent uphill neighborhoods quite as often after midnight.

Everybody loves a good nickname.

Some people just need to sleep right here. Right now.

And also, that while our stay in Barcelona may only be temporary, we are all setting about to strike new roots in our own unaccustomed earth – watch us flourish.

Now carry on….