The mention of the word addiction alone brings to mind several
associations ranging from dependency to craving and even the occasional thought
to Roman law (I suppose I learned
something in Latin class). Through our social circles and media we are
inundated with stories of addiction (Intervention,
Hoarders…or anything these days on A&E) and having recently rung in a
New Year, there are countless promotions for countering addictions (Fancy a new gym membership?). All
seemingly aimed at characterizing this word ‘addiction’ as something bad that
you should stop, reverse, combat and so on…immediately.
But what about if you are the addiction?
Yes. Not the addict, but
the apparent ‘drug equivalent’. What is the connotation of the word addiction
in this case?
So this is the
dilemma…..addiction. I was told the other day by someone that I am an
addiction. And I am struggling with interpretation, or rather ‘perception’ to
use a few choice buzzwords.
When I first processed the
statement delivered via text message, my mind was drawn to a ‘Joe Camel’
advertisement off the side of Atlantic Boulevard in Jacksonville, Florida circa
1986. It was the billboard that my parents used to teach me about two bad
things: smoking and addiction - I thought Joe was a ‘cool’ camel. Hats off to
the advertising campaign.
Imagine my surprise when I
(at least in my own head) am placed next to Joe Camel, the personification of
one type of addiction. Of course, being a girl – and a staunch supporter of
over-analysis at every opportunity – I indulged myself.
Was I a perennial bad
habit that this person wanted to quit? Well, I had not known him long enough to
be renounced in a New Years resolution.
If I was an addiction,
which stage of addiction was he in? Analysis suggested that due to his relatively
infrequent requests for face time, he would most likely be classified as a
moderate or occasional addict.
Addictions co-present with
risks or harm to the addict and his surrounding environments; so what are the
risks and where am I causing harm? It pains me to think of myself as a bringer
of harm.
The over-analysis
continued….even more so when he said it a second time.
As curiosity and stress
overtook me, I reached out to unknowing girlfriends and neutrally posed the question….a
little like the cliché ‘I have a friend who has a particular problem…..’ Call
it a straw poll of sorts. Overwhelmingly, my girlfriends – who never for a
moment believed I was asking about a friend – told me I should be flattered by
such a statement – surely it was meant with the best of intentions. They went
on with rants about addictions and their unintentional starts (I suppose no one
sets out to be an addict). They acknowledged that addicts question their own
behaviors, but over time repeat it in order to fulfill some need and/or desire
which is usually strong and consuming. Another friend chimed in with a comment
about life long addictions that ‘afflict’ many people.
Hmmmm…..
I have taken it in,
analyzed it all at least five or six more times (that is a grossly underreported number….call it self-preservation)
and still struggle with finding upside. But if it is a case of long term addiction,
there are probably two types of addictions that evolve at some point: one that becomes
a matter of tolerance and acclimation characterized by the addict that
continues out of mere habit. And the other that maintains the heightened level
of satisfaction and desire for more, the type which took the addict through his
experimental stage, carried him through his bout with occasional use and
sustains him over the long term.
If a person is to be an
addiction, I hope it’s a form of the latter.
